To Go Out of Comission, Or To Not Go Out of Commission

It’s been a little dead around here lately and, since not from lack of events on the home front, I have lots to blog about. Le Maestro, as I have been habitually referring to Miss E in the web-world, has been growing like a weed. Here’s some fun facts from our family to yours to keep you caught up to speed:

·         The Buddha Belly is all but disappearing. This is, indeed, a very sad state of affairs. To those of whom are not familiar with Buddha Belly, this is the name we have lovingly given Le Maestro’s heaving, chubby, blissful belly that is so frequently on display. Whether it’s spilling over stretchy pants or being patted after a hefty meal, Buddha Belly has graced our home throughout Le Maestro’s toddler years. It is a sad farewell that we give to Buddha Belly, since Le Maestro is in the bad habit lately of growing taller every day. She insists that Buddha Belly has gone, but will always remain in her hearts, and her belly should heretoforewith be referred to as ‘Raspberry Belly’. We are not entirely sure as to the logic behind the name, but her decision on the matter was final.

·         Le Maestro has begun to foster, what we hope, is a long and lasting relationship with her violin. She has lovingly dubbed it ‘Daisy’ (from Super Mario Bros., of course) and she seems to be quite a natural at it. Of course I would say that given that I am highly biased, but her teacher (through want of money or truth is unclear) seems to agree with me. Her first song composed is called, ‘Eva is sweetie’. It was a joint effort – I wrote the lyrics and Le Maestro composed the tune. She also has been learning the piano quite efficiently and quickly. I am so proud of the rate in which she retains new information, and this is evidenced by how quickly she eats up my lessons – almost as fast as I can feed them to her.

·         Le Maestro has become an advocate for caterpillar and worm rights in our backyard – and birds are her arch nemesis.  Before finding out that aforementioned birds were going to eat up all my seedlings before they had a chance to sprout, Maestro and I spent a lot of time in the backyard digging up earth and pulling weeds. She became enthralled with wormy and caterpillar friends and set out to make homes for them in just the right spots in the dirt. Sadly, she witnessed one of the birds pluck a wormy friend straight out of the grass and gobble it up. Needless to say, Le Maestro dislikes birds and chases them away with violent ‘Shoo’s! as quickly as she can.

·         We bought Le Maestro her first pet the other day. After deciding that our first idea for a pet, a turtle, would be a poor choice since we hardly can expect Eva to take her still-live turtle with her to college in 15 years, we bought a beta fish. The fishie was promptly named Vanellope (from Wreck It Ralph, of course) and I all-too-quickly ‘put it out of commission’. Don’t tell Le Maestro, but temperature shock is actually a real thing and will kill your beta fish. Seriously, do you research before you just go and pull the dump the ol’ fish inside the bowl trick. We buried Vanellope in the back yard and had a nice ceremony for her. She’s been replaced with a sturdier fish who goes by the name of Fix It Felix (again, Wreck It Ralph).

·         Choice FB statuses worth mentioning:

o    I told Le Maestro that mommy was feeling sick and sore tonight (head cold + amazing 5 hour horse back ride + nasty sunburn) and asked who would take care of me since The Mad Scientist isnt home.
She raises her hand in the air and says "I will take care of you, mommy."
She then disappears into the kitchen and calls me in a few minutes later for dinner. I love every single item she thoughtfully placed on the kitchen floor for us.
Nothing says I love you like a picnic on our kitchen floor, complete with cottage cheese, grape tomatoes, cheese strings, Breton crackers while slathering aloe Vera on my burnt shoulders and watching My Little Pony.
Life is grand. June 28

o    Eva, in robot voice: "I am a robot. I am from Texas."
Me: "Texas? Why Texas?"
Eva, still in robot voice: "All robots are from Texas. That's where the cowboys are."
Well that just raises further questions..... June 25

o    Discussion with Le Maestro tonight:
Me: Eva, can you do something for me?
Eva: sure!
Me: Can you stop growing?
Eva: Oh. Wellll... I'm sorry, Mommy. It isn't me. It's the days that do this. That's just the way the earth works.
Me: What if I somehow stopped the days from passing? Would you stop then?
Eva: Uhhh, Mom. That's silly. It can't be done like that.
Eva thinks for a minute...
Well, that's not really true. If you were a genie you could. Mom, are you a genie?
Me: Sadly,no. I'm not.
Eva: Then I MUST keep growing. I MUST. June 20

o    Tucking the maestro in tonight...
Me: "There. Now you're all snug. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon."
Eva: "No, I'm not. Caterpillars don't stick their heads out of cocoons, and my head is stuck out. They just have a tip on top. And they hang. I'm not hanging. I'm not anything like a caterpillar in a cocoon."
Well geez, if you wanna get technical... June 5

o    Despite my attempts at teaching Miss E French, she appears to enjoy speaking in Urdu (except to her, its gibberish) more.
Eva: me ha so pee la!
Me: don't speak gibberish.
Eva, rolling her eyes: its Urdu, mom.
What's worse, the mad scientist only urges her on by conversing back with her, since it is his native tongue. I haven't decided if its cute or disrespectful... But it is pretty adorable hearing them jammer away back and forth! February 21

o    While at a drive thru tonight...
Eva: Mom, what does the 24 mean?
Me: it means they are open 24 hours. That's all day.
Eva: what?? They don't sleep?!
Me: nope.
Eva: whooooaa... They just work and work and work but then they might be really sleepy and ask where's all the beds? I don't know. Oh no, what do we do? But then they could make beds out of bread. Because bread is very soft. And then they make it up and up and up and then Santa comes down and gives them aaaallll... Wait. I mixed that up. What was I saying? January 25

o    Eva: Mom, what do zombies eat?
Me: Uhhhh....
Eva: It's poop, right? Zombies eat poop?
Me: Eva, that's disgusting.
Eva: Well, what is it then?
I hesitate, not sure of how to answer.
Eva: Is it mangoes?
Me: Yes. Yes, it is.
Eva: Oooooooohhh, that's TERRIBLE!
Heck yes, the worst thing this kid can think of to eat is mangoes. December 7

And that should put you back up to speed! Regular blog posts are, once again, my middle-of-the-year resolution, so check back frequently!