Prescence

My mind has been full lately and is spilling out into the blogging realm, as is common for it to do.

I have been battling between two strong urges - first, to put down in words the difficult yet rewarding journey I have found myself on and second, to not sound like a complete crazy person. I'm hoping there is a balance to be struck... I've settled down nicely to accept that if I come across as a crazy person whilst trying to express something I have become passionate about, so be it.

It all began months ago while I was in Chapters with my oldest sister.. I am drawn to books like a moth to flame and although there isn't much spare moo-lah in our bank account these days, poor Dallin will attest to the fact that whenever I go to Chapters I never leave empty handed. I picked up a book, on a whim, called The Motivation Manifesto. Googling such will bring you to a site that seems... in this persons' opinion... cult-ish? No, that is harsh. And not appropriate. Let's go with... bizzare? Overdone? Fad-ish? Okay, I'm pretty sure that last one isn't actually a word. Give me a break here guys.

With all that said, I picked up the book knowing nothing of the trending or not-trending nature of the novel. I felt compelled to read it - which is no strange occurrence since most of the books on the shelf call out to me as I pass them by, urging me with sad, puppy dog-like in a shelter to "Take me home!" I did it indeed bring it home, and have not had, as The Simpsons have said, "..zee buyers' remorse.." It has become both beacon and linchpin for me in my quest for self improvement.

In a nutshell - and a quick nutshell at that - it outlines 9 'Manifestos' to center your life around. Each of them spoke to me and I have taken it upon myself to work through them, one at a time. No time frame, no schedule, just as it happens. Needless to say, I started 4 months ago and I just moved to Manifesto #2. Phew. Not for the faint of heart. Yet I am determined! "Look - gimme some inner peace or I'll mop the floor with ya!" But I can truly say that I feel improved - refreshed even - while I set these policies to heart.

So, without further ado, allow me to introduce you to Manifesto #1 :

'We shall meet life with full presence and power.'

Ahh, see, there's the connection to the post title. I had you wondering, I'm sure.

Being present. Fully present. This is something that society and I struggle with greatly.  Put your phone down from wherever you're reading this blog and look around you - how many people around you are fully present into whatever it is they're doing and how many are looking at a device? Now, back to your device to read this. Don't worry, the irony of that isn't lost on me...

Here is a list of my electronic transgressions: (Am I seeking penance, oh blogging world? No. Yes. Maybe??)

1. Filling my mind from sun up to sun down with truly useless electronic information. lolsnaps, facebook, youtube, pinterest, and a multitude of nonsense blogs are my poison of choice.

2. Watching my children do truly remarkable and adorable things through the lens of my camera.

3. Checking the clock to see when my son will be napping so I can watch the next episode of whatever I happen to be binge watching on Netflix at the time.

4. Multitasking, or, multitexting? Is that a thing? It's got a ring to it. I'm going with it. Multi-texting people while simultaneously cooking dinner, answering my daughters' questions, listening to talk radio and bouncing the baby on my hip.

5. Pinning, pinning, pinning. The never ending stream of pins coming from my pin-feed (again, don't even know if that's a thing...) is astonishing. They clamor from my pinterest boards but shockingly never grace my craft room with their presence...

6. My ability to find and regurgitate quote after quote of The Simpsons to nearly any scenario I find myself in. I believe there's already a couple in here... sigh... help me someone... please?

7. Getting the grandiose idea to have a cell phone basket at my dinner table from none other than, drum roll please, a show I watched during one of my aforementioned Netflix-binge watching-sessions. Hypocrisy, thy name is Nicole.

And those are just the juicy bits I feel comfortable sharing...

My goal these past few months has been to be present. Easy? Negative. It has been a work in progress but I've made gains... I think? 'I hope it doesn't sound arrogant when I say I am the greatest woman alive!' We've become a society of believing that being online is helping us to think more  but in actuality we are thinking less. Sure, we are shoving more into our brains at one particular time, but our retention of this material is most times shockingly low. And the quality of it is more often that not very poor. Or is that just me? 'Remember that time when... with that guy? Which was it? Oh no, that was that other thing... Ya know, I read somewhere that.... I don't remember who said it but...." Does anyone else find themselves saying things like that? Unless it's the Simpsons. Then I think I've already established that I'm a pro.

It's actually really difficult! But I find myself relishing moments that would otherwise pass me by. Small, innocuous things that may not seem like much to others. Hell, they didn't seem like much to me until I decided to stop running amuck in life with phone or ipad or t.v. or computer glued to my eyeballs. In them I've found true joy. I've learned things. I've found that when Eva focuses really hard on some new concept I'm teaching her about, her right eye wanders slightly to the right. Dallin crosses his toes when he is really comfortable - weirdo. (He's probably going to hate me for that...) Remy makes the most ridiculous strains and lunges with his mouth as I'm getting ready to nurse him. My neighbor down the street is the sweetest soul who takes too much upon her shoulders. Eva is crying out for more friends whilst I am content to be a homebody. All of these things may have passed me by had I not been present to notice them.

Too much sensory electronic information can dull our abilities to use our other faculties - empathy. Sympathy. Prudence. Tact. You can see it all around if you begin to look for it. In the harshly worded facebook comment or post someone puts up in frustration. In the smiling discrimination that is everywhere. In our repetition of the mantra, 'It's okay' when it's really not. Alternatively, in our inability to give the benefit of the doubt to those who truly deserve it.

Now, when I'm texting, I'm TEXTING. Only. Poor Eva. She is still getting used to the whole idea that she now has to wait to talk to me while I send a text - poor, depraved girl. When I'm playing with Eva or Remy, I'm with them. 100%. When I'm on the phone, I'm ON THE PHONE. For any of you that try to reach me on the phone and I NEVER seem to answer, this is why. I want to give you my full attention. If I can't do that, I let it go to voicemail. Now, if there's just a manifesto somewhere in there about calling people back...